Cold Front
by NElaineR
Summary: Cal and Gillian have come so far but will a tragic accident destroy their future? Last chapter up!
1. Chapter 1

Cal was momentarily stunned on impact when his head slammed against the steering wheel but quickly gathered his senses. The car was sinking and fast.

He shot a panicked look toward the passenger side. Gillian was unconscious; an ugly egg shaped lump forming just above her left eye. She head lolled forward, mouth slightly agape.

Quickly undoing his seatbelt, he could feel the water pooling in around his ankles, rising quickly. It was absolutely frigid. Leaning over he struggled with Gillian's belt but it was stuck, completely unyielding. Sweat popped out on his forehead despite the temperature. Swearing loudly, he renewed his efforts to no avail before thinking of his pocketknife. Fishing in his front pocket he pulled the little serrated blade out, thankful that he'd just sharpened it last week. The water was around his knees now as he began sawing at her seatbelt. By the time the belt snapped, water had risen to just below his chest. Turning, he tried the door. It was stubborn but the pressure from the inside and the outside was now becoming equal, giving them a fighting chance. Bruising his shoulder, he slammed into it repeatedly before it finally gave. Water gushed in even faster. Reaching over, he propped up Gillian's face which had fallen forward before pulling on her arm, attempting to waggle her free. Her body started to float upward as he moved closer and wrapped one arm around her upper chest, fingers grasping just under her opposite arm. The car was almost completely filled and sinking quickly into darkness.

Taking a deep breath from the couple of inches clearance at the headliner, he plunged under and pulled with all his strength before they both became clear of the car. Kicking for what seemed forever, Cal broke the surface of the water with Gillian in tow. Hypothermia seeping in at the edges, he fought against his own weakening limbs to propel them to the shore of the quarry. What do they say? Fifteen minutes before unconsciousness and death? He yanked her completely out of the water before immediately feeling for a pulse. Nothing. Her lips were blue.

"No, no, no…" He began chanting into almost a low moan, barely conscious of it. Without delay, he started CPR. _One-one thousand, two-one thousand, three-one thousand, four-one thousand, five-one thousand. Breathe._

"Come on darlin'. Come on Gillian."

He repeated the process. Nothing.

Eyes blurring, Cal continued. Not giving up. No fucking way. "You need to fight. Come on, come on, come on." _Breathe_. He tasted salt. It took a moment to realize his own tears had fallen onto her still lips. "Gillian! We've come too far! You…are…not…leaving me…" His voice rose as he fiercely continued, completely unmindful of the cold and his own dropping body temperature.

Somewhere in the background he heard a shout of alarm but he didn't acknowledge. Couldn't acknowledge. He _had_ to save her.

"Please darlin', come on! _Please_…"

He was shaking so badly, felt half blind and it seemed like he was losing feeling in all of his limbs, yet he continued.

"God damnit Gil! Open your eyes!"

A flood of people suddenly seemed to appear around him. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Let us take over sir."

Shrugging the man off, Cal continued. _One-one thousand, two-one thousand, three-one thousand, four-one thousand, five-one thousand. Breathe._

Cal thought he heard a soft gasp before more than one pair of strong hands pulled him away. He felt weak and couldn't fight back. "No, no, did you hear that…?

"Sir, let me help you." This time a female voice passed into his consciousness.

"No, help her. She _needs _to be okay…"

"I understand sir. They're working on her. We need to take care of you."

Fatigue oozed around him like a persistent mist as sleepiness crept in. He couldn't even get up. The paramedic crouched next to him and someone had thrown a blanket around his shoulders. He didn't remember that happening.

"Sir, you're probably suffering from hypothermia. You can't help her if you don't take care of yourself."

Mutely, he nodded and tried to climb to his feet, but stumbled and went back down. He couldn't feel them. Before he realized it, he was loaded onto a stretcher. Time lapsed too quickly. He couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Naturally, the case isn't what's important here, but I needed to get them to a place and time, figuratively and metaphorically. Just sayin'. Here's hoping it works (include nervous nail biting here)….**

* * *

><p><strong>Four days earlier<strong>

Joseph Cantwell was an annoying rodent-like man with a thin mustache and too much hair product. Cal disliked him on sight and could immediately feel Gillian's hand firm on his arm reminding him to play nice. Acquiescing to her, he chose to stay quiet. For the moment.

"Again, how many incidents have there been?"

Gillian and Cal had flown into JFK before making the two hour drive up to the beautiful resort nestled high in the Catskills to address an issue that the management apparently wanted to fly under the police radar. Neither was overly impressed with the case but dollars and cents dictated that they accept it regardless. The fact that they were going to be comped for rooms though was a definite perk in Cal's book.

"Six since the winter season began." Cantwell's eyes darted nervously, a slight sheen of sweat on his pale face.

"All have been…similar in nature?" Gillian kept her voice impassive.

"Yes, but of course the guests are, um, well, they don't care to bring in the authorities."

Cal smirked, picking up on the other man's body language easily. "Embarrassing circumstances, eh? Sexual in nature I'd wager."

Cantwell cleared his throat, swallowing, looking down. "Yes."

"So, instead of a blow job, they're getting black eyes and a lightening of the wallet before going home to their wives, tail between legs. Humility in check."

Gillian shot him a stern look while Cal stared back, eyebrows raised, attempting innocence.

"Dr. Lightman, I would say that is a rather crude way to put it… - " He sniffed as redness crept across his features.

"But accurate."

"Unfortunately, yes." He leaned forward with an almost pleading look. "I just want it to stop. I need to find those responsible."

"Have there been any changes to your staff? Anyone recently let go? Newly hired?" Gillian ignored Cal and pushed ahead.

"Well, there was one new hire, but she had sterling references." Cantwell looked even more displeased and took a defensive stature.

"Good place to start, don't you think?" Cal was on his feet, anxious to get out of the stuffy office with the even stuffier hotel manager. "See if we can get to the bottom of your guests getting robbed with their pants down."

"We need to interview employees. Is there someplace that we can partition off for that purpose?" Gillian also rose, hiding her annoyance.

The manager shifted his gaze back and forth between them, possibly rethinking his decision to hire them before making his choice. "Of course. Why don't you check in and I'll contact you when I've arranged a location."

When Gillian turned, Cal was already out of the office and striding toward the front desk. With an apologetic smile, she left Cantwell and hastened to catch up with her partner.

**(BREAK)**

Gillian opted for two rooms.

She felt a warm hand on her hip and turned to Cal's smirk and raised eyebrows. "We need to keep things professional."

"Whatever you say darlin'." He gave her a gentle squeeze and was rewarded with a tiny but sincere smile. "Should I remind you that you _are_ wearing my ring?"

"Very aware of that fact Cal." Her voice was gentle, despite the sardonic words. Blushing, she led them away from the front desk and walked toward the bank of elevators.

As soon as the door closed, he was grinning in her space. "So, as soon as we solve rat boy's little problem, time for some fun, yeah?"

"We'll see."

"Really?" Both hands settled on her hips, pulling her closer.

"_Really_." The word came out in a smile as Cal met her lips, taking them tenderly in his own.

When the doors opened, she quickly pushed him away. "You know I should be angry with you."

Cal startled before realizing the reprimand had a playful edge. "Why's that darlin'?"

"You could definitely have been a bit more diplomatic with him."

Him? Oh. Caldwell. "The man's a royal git."

"Maybe so, but alienating clients does nothing for the reputation of the company."

They reached Cal's room and he quickly slid his card key. "I know, but I can't claim it wasn't fun." He pushed the door open and waved her in before him. "Besides, he doesn't give a damn about his guests, he only cares about the hotel's reputation. You'd think it'd be one and the same."

"Even so, could you keep the baiting to a minimum?"

"I'll do my best." He gave her a sideways grin and a chaste kiss on the cheek.

She blinked, slightly disappointed but quickly forgot about it as her eyes took in the hotel room. Highly polished mahogany met warm colors and deep, soft carpet in a cozy, romantic décor. Most of the space, however, was taken by a king sized bed with dozens of pillows and a tasteful duvet. "This is really nice." Gillian crossed to the bathroom, instantly excited by the huge Jacuzzi tub.

"Hmmm…room for two?" Cal was behind her, his cheek against her cheek as he rested his chin on her shoulder. His breath tickled her ear as his arms wrapped around her waist.

"Possibly, but I don't know. Once we get this case out of the way, all those lovely winter activities are going to make me want to just soak for hours before crawling into that big, comfy bed and going to sleep…" She allowed a fake sigh and a teasing smile.

"Oi!" He whirled her around, took her face in his hands and passionately kissed her as he pushed her up against the bathroom door. One hand left her face and lightly ran down her side, leaving gooseflesh in its wake.

Warmth spread through her as she pushed back, both hands snaking around his back and shoulders, holding him to her.

The sudden rap at the door elicited annoyed groans from both of them before they begrudgingly pulled apart.

Gillian moved away from him, paused a moment to check herself in the mirror, to make sure she wasn't too disheveled before stepping out of the bathroom. Glancing back at Cal, she almost burst out laughing. He looked like a little kid who just lost his favorite toy. "Remember, work first, play later."

"Yeah, yeah, I remember. I don't have to be happy about it though."

**(BREAK)**

Half way through the second day, Cal was ready to gauge out his eyeballs with a pencil. A sea of faces had come and gone and they were no closer to finding the answers that management so desperately wanted. It had occurred to them that maybe it would have be a good idea to send Loker and Torres up as well but they were needed in DC with several pressing cases, one which was actually brought in by Loker. He wasn't about to abandon his baby. Nor would they expect him to. The tedium was entirely theirs.

They were relegated separate rooms for questioning in an effort to move the process along. It wasn't the usual way they worked but considering the size of the staff, it was necessary. _Unless of course they wanted to be questioning hotel employees into the New Year, _Cal thought dryly.

"Cal?" Gillian popped her head into the room just moments after he'd finished pissing off someone from the kitchen staff.

Raising his eyes to her, hope spread all over his face. "You have something?"

She jerked her head to the side. _C'mon_.

Not having to be asked twice, he followed.


	3. Chapter 3

Cal awoke to the sexiest, most beautiful woman ever burrowed snuggly into his side. His eyes ran down her face, drinking in her features, as would a parched man, noting how her expression was so soft, sweet and unguarded. She appeared quite young and vulnerable. A lump seemed to appear out of nowhere in his throat but that wasn't exactly the case. He _knew_ where it had come from. A large part of him still expected this all to be a dream. The fact that Gillian Foster had agreed to be his couldn't possibly be real and he constantly worried that his current state of happiness would be cruelly yanked away. Swallowing the lump down, his mood quickly shifted when he also noted dryly and with a tentative smile that the most sexy, beautiful woman ever had just drooled on him in her sleep. A low chuckle rumbled through his chest as he turned to kiss the top of her head. She stirred ever so slightly, shifting the leg that overlapped his and inadvertently brushing the inside of his thigh with her knee. She didn't awaken. Cal bit the inside of his cheek and shifted his gaze to the window. They'd left the drapes open. Seeing that they were on the fourth floor, there didn't seem any reason not to. He was now able to watch as snow flurries lazily drifting down from engorged clouds. It was quite early and very peaceful, the hotel having yet to awaken into full swing.

Fortunately, a nervous young maid had begun a domino affect yesterday leading to a break in the case. Good thing for them that human nature often led to eavesdropping. She'd overheard one of the busboys on his cell phone referring to some 'easy scores.' He'd been an uncomplicated read when they'd pulled him in for questioning. He and his girlfriend had quite the little scam going, maybe enough to finance a couple of college semesters if they were so inclined. Despite Cantwell's huffing and puffing, the police had to become involved when the kid got violent. Fortunately for Cal, the kid's fighting skills were less than exemplary. Bigger didn't necessarily translate to better. Unfortunately, they hadn't been able to pick up the girlfriend just yet but it seemed just a matter of time.

Cal and Gillian now had a couple of days to enjoy themselves before having to return to DC. He'd promised to attempt ice-skating today and was less than thrilled at the prospect, but a promise was a promise and the look on Gillian's face would be more than worth it. He just hoped that he didn't fall and break anything. It would be nice to leave the mountains with at least a shred of his dignity intact.

"Hey you."

Pulling out of his ruminations, his gaze lowered to his sleepy fiancé. She looked absolutely adorable. "Hey right back of ya."

She stretched like a cat, her knee brushing his thigh again before propping herself up and gently kissing him "What time is it?"

"Early luv." His voice lowered, "And you need to stop that."

Gillian blinked in confusion before a slow smile oozed across her face. "You mean this?" She lightly ran her leg up a little higher before drawing it down again as her fingers traveled across his chest.

A noise somewhere between a moan and a growl surfaced from low in his throat. "You know that you're going to be the death of me, yeah?"

She just grinned before following her exploring fingers with her lips, peeking up at him between feather light kisses and watching as that hungry, passionate look of his took over.

**(BREAK)**

Cal edged around the rink slowly, ever conscious that this was for Gillian. There was no other reason _ever_ that he'd put himself in this kind of situation. Keeping one hand on the low wall he managed to hold himself upright but that was about it. Anyone looking for style needed to move on. A workman-like technique was about all they were going to get.

In the meantime, Gillian swept around, the picture of grace. She'd give him a wide grin every time she passed to which he'd narrow his eyes and glower. He was constantly amazed that the girl from Southern California could ice skate so well. Quite ironic.

"Hey." Gillian slowed and took his arm, his eyes widening momentarily in panic, thinking he was going to be knocked off balance. "How are you?"

"Peachy luv."

"You seem to be doing okay."

"Right you are." He gave her a fake smile through clenched teeth. "Having the time of my life."

She giggled and pecked him on the cheek. "I appreciate that you're at least _trying_."

A roguish smile touched on his lips. "I expect to be _well_ compensated darlin'."

Her warm breath assaulted his ear. "Tell you what, I'll let you choose the _next_ activity."

He raised an eyebrow before a scowl took over his face.

Jerking her head around, the giggles kicked in in earnest when she located the source of his derision.

The five-year old girl glided by with the skill of an Olympian.

"Okay, okay, enough of this. _My_ turn." He wobbled out the next exit, plunking himself down on the closest bench before immediately going about getting the damned skates off. She followed, still grinning and sat beside him.

"What did you have in mind Dr. Lightman?" As she leaned toward him, he caught a whiff of perfume, soap and conditioner in her movement.

Not being help to help himself, he dropped one skate and used a hand to draw her into a quickly reciprocated kiss. Despite an instant flair of desire he had the good sense to keep it PG, seeing that they were in mixed company. Cal then pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers, his voice laced with innuendo. "I have something in mind that might make it hard for you to walk comfortably for at least a couple of days."

Brow furrowing, she moved away, mouth dropping open ever so slightly. "Really? And what might that be?"

"You look a little concerned darlin'." He cocked his head, smirking.

"Should I be?"

Cal leaned forward again, giving her another gentle kiss before nuzzling her neck. "I don't know. Should you be?"

He then looked up and met her suspicious but excited eyes. A slight flush had crept across her cheeks as she swallowed. Grinning, he moved toward her ear, grazing the flesh with his teeth as his stubble gently chafed the side of her throat. "Dying to know aren't cha?"

A slow nod.

His breath was still in her ear, stirring her senses. "_Horseback riding…"_

**(BREAK)**

_He moved easily through the group, with them, but strangely detached. Every face was recognizable and all were grief stricken. Tears ran freely or faces remained somber, eyes downcast, almost set in stone. Friends, family, employees, past and present shared their anguish, united in loss._

_ The service was held outside but shaded by a broad canopy. The sun's rays were bright leading one into a false sense of warmth. But overcoats and wisps of breath betrayed the illusion. It was the dead of winter. A light blanket of snow coated the cemetery, hiding the stones, making the dead anonymous. Come spring, the site chosen would be beautiful, peaceful, but as of now, the skeletal outline of the neighboring tree remained eerie and telling._

_ An indescribable force propelled him forward but at the last moment, he faltered. Everyone in the front row meant the most to him. Previous detachment fell away leaving an agonizing pain in its wake. They suffered so much and it was because of him. Crouching down, he looked up into Emily's red-rimmed eyes and reached out a hand to touch her face. The hand didn't make contact. She stared straight through him. He rocked back, almost falling before catching his balance and whirling to see the sleek dark casket that his eyes and emotions refused to recognize._

Cal awoke suddenly, a strangled cry cut off midway. His heart was deafening in his ears, rasping breath searing his throat. Sweat glued his shirt to his body. _No, no, no…_

He had fallen asleep like an old man upon returning to the hotel room in the late afternoon. Now he flew upright in panic.

"Oh my God Cal, are you alright?" Gillian had been reading in the chair by the window when he jerked awake. He was glistening and pale, eyes wild. She immediately dropped her book, not noting her place before crossing briskly to the huge bed and wrapping her arms around him. Saying nothing, she just held onto him. The fact that he was shaking scared the hell out of her. He was one of the strongest people she knew and for him to be affected this much by a nightmare…

They remained silent together. Through the strength of her embrace she gradually became aware that his heart rate was slowly returning to normal, his breathing evening out and no longer catching. Calmness began to pervade.

"Are you okay?"

His cheek rested against her chest, while her arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding tightly. The radiance of her warmth reassured him. "Yeah luv." His voice was strained. "Just one bitch of a nightmare."

"Did you want to talk about it?"

Cal was quiet for a moment before smoothly lying. "Nah, it's already starting to slip away, thank God." He hoped that she bought the lie because he had no intention of reliving the nightmare by acknowledging it.

He felt her lightly brush at his hair with her fingertips before pushing her lips against the top of his head. "Okay." With that one word, he knew she hadn't believed him.


	4. Chapter 4

_Not wild about this chapter, but must push on regardless for the good of the story. So it goes._

* * *

><p>By the time they were dressing for a late dinner, Cal had dismissed the nightmare, chalking it up to his insecurity about his relationship with Gillian. With his track record it was hardly surprising. Besides, he didn't believe in omens.<p>

He wandered toward her room now. In truth, she'd only spent about 10% of her time in there but she kept it for appearances. Apparently, she also had something in mind for the formal dinner at the hotel tonight. If there were any remnants of the nightmare left, they completely slid out of his head when Gillian opened the door for him. Cal's jaw sagged as he absorbed every detail. He stood for a moment, blinking stupidly.

She wore a sapphire blue satin sweetheart dress with a slit partially up her thigh. Her hair was swept up and away from her face with the exception of a few sexy wisps. Watching his reaction, her blue eyes twinkled.

Recovering, he finally shut his mouth, and moved quickly into her room, shutting the door behind him.

"We could always stay in." His hands immediately reached out and locked on her waist as he pulled her to him. His face moved closer to gently kiss her before moving down to nibble on her throat. "You're stunning."

"You don't look too shabby yourself Dr. Lightman." Cal looked quite handsome in his dark suit. He'd even shaved.

Gillian could feel his warm breath just below her ear and was tempted for just a moment to go with his not so subtle suggestion before deciding it was more fun to play hard to get. "Nope."

He pulled back, one eyebrow rising. "Nope?"

"Nope." Her eyes continued to twinkle as she teased. "Dinner and dancing."

"But that involves other people in the room." It was almost a whine.

"Dinner and dancing…first." Gillian's voice dropped, taking on a sultry quality.

A sideways grin split his face. "Aye aye!" He ran the side of his hand down her cheek before leaning in for another tender kiss and resuming his ministrations down her neck.

She could feel her breathing begin to accelerate right along with her pulse and almost forgot herself before stepping away, her hand against his chest. "Uh uh." Gillian watched as his expression turned smug, no doubt reading desire all over her face. Nonetheless…

"Public relations Cal."

He huffed and narrowed his eyes. "We already solved their bloody case."

"Doesn't matter. Can't disappear indefinitely after they comped our rooms. Appearances are still important."

"What, you afraid ratboy's gonna think we've just been upstairs shagging the whole time?"

"Cal!"

"Okay, okay. Fine. Whatever you want darlin'." He conceded, waving his hand, eyes still laughing.

**(BREAK)**

They drew attention when they entered the dining room. Of course Cal knew damn well that people weren't looking at him. Gillian practically glowed and he felt himself swell with pride to know that she was on _his_ arm. He made a point to stare down any other man that he caught sizing her up.

As soon as they walked in, Gillian could feel his arm almost _coil_ under her light grasp as he went into search, read and judge mode. An almost inaudible groan escaped her as she had second thoughts about making him come here. It was almost akin to throwing a grenade in a fireworks factory.

"Are you going to behave?"

Cal turned to her, wide eyed. A smirk played around his mouth. "Of course darlin'. Good PR, right?"

She narrowed her eyes.

"What? I'll be good if they are."

_Uh oh._

They were shown to their table and Cal immediately took the seat with the best view of the room. Gillian sighed, once again starting to regret bringing him down here. But damnit, she deserved to have some fun too, right? Of course this _was_ fun for him, just in a different way.

His hazel eyes swept the room, shifting into an intense green as he fixated on certain people.

"Cal?"

"Hmmm?" They moved back to her, darkening slightly.

"I've been thinking about dates again." They'd been engaged over a month now and an actual wedding date was still some kind of nebulous time in the future.

Expression warming, he reached over and gently laid one hand across both of hers. She now had his complete attention. This was something she always marveled at. He could suddenly dial back his typical ADHD behavior and look at her like they were the only two people in the room. A blush crept up and he raised his eyebrows.

"What kind of wedding did you exactly have in mind there darlin'?"

"Shut it!" She hissed but smiled in spite of herself.

He just grinned.

"I thought, well, it would be nice to wait until Emily's on her summer holidays."

Cal nodded. He loved how his daughter was always at the forefront whenever Gillian planned _anything_.

"So, what do you think about the last weekend in May?" Her eyes were bright, edged in excitement.

"Would that make you happy?" He asked softly, knowing full well the answer.

"Mmhm." Gillian felt him give her fingers a squeeze. Despite the frigid temperatures outside, his hand was warm.

"Well, I guess the end of May it is then." His eyes shifted away before immediately hardening. A frown crinkled his brow.

"Cal? What's the matter?" Gillian turned to see where his gaze was locked.

"I believe we may have another player that our boy may have neglected to mention."

Across the room, standing at the bar, a young twenty-something was flirting with a portly business type. She playfully pulled on his tie as one of his meaty hands made its way to her backside.

Caldwell had informed them the previous day that the busboy's girlfriend had been picked up at her home and had admitted her place in the scam.

"Could be a coincidence."

"Could be. Unlikely though." Before she said another word, Cal was bulldozing his way across the room.

Gillian hesitated before following him, her eyes moving around the room, looking for Caldwell.

"Hey darlin'. Already moving on I see." Cal leaned toward the young woman, a smile on his lips that didn't go beyond.

"Who the hell are you?" The doughy man already started to redden.

Cal ignored him, studying the girl. "Have a good time with what you stole from my wallet last night?"

The woman's mouth dropped open, anger lacing through her face. "What are you talking about?" Her eyes shifted to the other man. "I don't know this guy! I have no idea what he's talking about?"

Finally looking at portly man, Cal lowered his voice. "Have a wife waitin' at home do you?"

The man's face reddened even further. Cal dimly wondered if he was heading for an aneurysm. "You have no right…!"

"There's a mark on your ring finger that suggests that you may have just removed it mate."

His mouth fell open, closed and then opened again, breathing labored in anger and embarrassment.

Cal dismissed him and moved toward the girl again. "You didn't get the memo? Didn't hear about Chris and Izzy? Ah come on, you must of. Amazing that you'd pick up where they left off. Not the brightest bulb are ya?"

Caldwell walked up behind them, Gillian right in step with him.

"What's this?" His tiny mustache bobbed up and down in annoyance.

Not paying attention to the rodent-like manager, Cal took another step into the girl's space. "Who's waiting upstairs for 'im? Huh, darlin'?"

A gray pallor was now replacing the redness as realization hit the big man. "You were going to…rob me?" Clearly the fact that the pretty young girl wasn't in it just for a good time hadn't occurred to him.

"What's your room number?"

He stared at Cal like he was speaking a foreign language for just a moment before shaking himself and fumbling for his card key. "Um, 332."

Eyes not leaving the girl, Cal spoke to Caldwell. "Might wanna send security up there."

Gillian let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding; worried that Cal might make the run upstairs.

She relaxed a moment too soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Anger coursing thorough him, Cal slipped the card key from between the intended victim's sausage-like fingers. He felt like he'd been duped and that was not something he was accustomed to. When they'd pinned down Chris the busboy, he'd read anger and fear, but he'd taken the fear to be a natural part of the arrest. Now, he knew there was something more to it. It wasn't fear of the police; it was fear of someone in particular.

"What's your name?" He still had his eyes on the girl, watching as anger dissipated and fear blossomed.

"TJ."

"Alright then darlin'. You're coming with me."

He heard a quick intake of breath from Gillian. Looking into her face briefly, he saw worry and anger. There would be hell to pay later, but they'd been hired to do a job and he'd be damned if he didn't see it through.

The girl's eyes became saucers with panic.

"No darlin'. I just want to talk with you." He hooked her arm with his hand and guided her out of the dining hall.

"Okay, what can you tell me?" Cal stared at her and she stared back, jaw jutting out, defiant but only for a moment.

"This is such a bad idea."

"More of a bad idea than planning to rob round boy back there?" He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

A smile almost crossed her features but fear quickly neutralized it. He waited and continued to hold eye contact while she tried desperately to avoid it.

Lowering his voice into a gentle drawl, he tried again. "Look, I've been there. I know you don't want to hear that, but I got stuck in something damned similar and just barely missed prison. I _can_ get you out of this. You just need to help me."

"He said that it would only be once or twice." Her lips trembled as Cal sighed.

"They always say that don't they luv?"

"He said that it'd be easy pickins." Tears were in her eyes. "When Chris and Izzy were arrested…" TJ stopped. "Was that because of _you_?"

"I was hired to do a job, so, indirectly, yeah," he conceded. "But if you're in this against your will I can make sure that the authorities and Cantwell know that."

Indecision and fear threaded through her face and body language. She brought a finger up and chewed on the edge of the nail absently.

"What do you say? Shall we get you out of this mess?" Cal kept his voice low, his compassion sincere.

More hesitation as she delicately bit her lip. Finally, she gave a slow nod.

"Alright then, who's waiting in that room?"

Her voice was but a whisper; almost as if she were afraid she'd be overheard. "His name is Bryan. He's connected with the hotel, but I'm honestly not sure how. I dealt more with Chris."

Cal's eyes roamed her face and decided she was telling the truth. "Anything else?"

"He's, um, kind of old, maybe forty? Really intense. Scary. I thought it was done when Chris and Izzy were, you know…but he called me. Said something like 'more for us.' It was like he knew that they wouldn't narc him out."

"Does he pick the marks?" He quickly dismissed the old comment.

Another nod.

Cal didn't say anything for a moment, just continued to watch.

"He said that he needed me. He said that he wouldn't let me walk away. Told me that we were safe."

"Does he have something on you?"

Tears started to overflow. "He knows where my mom and I live…"

With a nod, he reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder. "Okay, darlin'. We're gonna go back into the dining room and I'm gonna take care of things."

TJ sniffled and a tiny light of gratitude flickered through her eyes. Without pause, she followed him back into the room.

The others hadn't moved, with the exception of the businessman leaning into the bar more heavily, fingers toying with a mostly empty glass.

"Okay. Cantwell. Security?"

The manager blinked, slightly startled and pulled his phone out.

Cal met Gillian's eyes. "Calvary, luv? In the meantime, could you keep an eye on TJ here?"

Her expression narrowed, anger and worry burning but controlled. "Why don't we just wait for the state police Cal?" He was fairly certain that she was about ready to spit nails at him.

"Easier to spring a trap without them. I just need them to…"

"Save your ass?"

"I'll have security with me." Cal knew he sounded defensive but couldn't help it. In truth, he wanted to get his hands on the plonker that would threaten a little girl.

She knew that there was no way to change his mind. At least he wasn't going up there alone. Gillian let out a resigned breath. "Please be careful."

Cal gave her a smirk and turned to leave the dining room.

**(BREAK)**

The third floor was mostly deserted. As Cal left the stairwell, he watched as an elderly blue-haired couple disappeared behind one door at the end of the hall. There was no one else around. He hung a right and approached room 332, moving a bit more slowly than what his nature intended.

_Where the hell was security?_

As if by shared consciousness, a tall gangly figure emerged from the elevator by the stairwell. He loped toward Cal, who barely suppressed a groan. The kid was all of 19 or 20.

"Just one of ya?"

The kid blinked, immediately defensive. "Short handed." His name tag read "Zack."

"Alright then. I presume your boss gave you a rundown."

"He's not my boss."

_O-kay_. "Fair enough. He is kind of a little prick. I get that. Let me rephrase: Cantwell let you in on the deal here, yeah?  
>"Yes sir."<p>

"Here goes nothin'." Cal swiped the card, pushing the door in when the light turned green and braced himself.

No movement initially. The drapes were pulled, but one light burned in the corner. Everything else lay in shadows.

"Son of a bitch!" A voice growled from his right.

Cal whirled around as a figure emerged from the bathroom, coming quickly, temper obviously unhinged.

"You people couldn't let it go!"

Without thinking, Cal moved to the side and threw out a punch, connecting solidly with the man's throat. A strangled cry escaped him as he fell back.

The man was thick, probably outweighing Cal by 25 or 30 pounds, but low light didn't provide a lot of details to his appearance. All Cal saw were small eyes glittering. Kind of like a pig's.

Fueled by rage, teeth bared, Cal stepped forward and succeeded in bloodying the other's nose. "Done using little girls to do your dirty work?"

A frown crinkled his brow at the man's expression when his face tilted up toward him. He wasn't looking at Cal. He was looking past him. When realization dawned, it was too late.

Splitting pain cracked through his skull as the carpet rushed up to meet him. Through dimming eyes, he saw two pairs of boots step over him. Their voices were muddled as darkness settled around him.

**(BREAK)**

"Cal?" A familiar worried voice reached his ears as cool fingers touched his forehead, then his cheek.

"I'll call 911."

Male voice. Cantwell.

He heard his name again before giving a low grunt and forcing his eyes open. "No." With effort he pushed himself into a sitting position. "I'm okay." Things looked a little fuzzy but he figured it would pass.

Gillian was wide-eyed, panicked and clutching his arm tightly.

"I'm okay, luv." Cal repeated himself, softly.

He looked up at the manager. "Security is contracted out?"

"Um, yes. Why?"

"Didn't occur to you that that might have been useful information for us?"

"I - "

"The name Bryan sound familiar? How about Zack?"

Recognition flooded Cantwell's features before his face hardened.

Cal stumbled to his feet, swaying slightly and attempting to ignore the profound ache in his head. "They can't have gone far. State cops here?"

"Yes Cal. Downstairs with TJ. Didn't get here soon enough though did they?" Her tone was dry, her expression concerned but quickly morphing into cold anger.

The manager was already on his phone, red-faced and gesturing frenetically.

"You need to stop this." Her voice was low and arctic.

He stared at her, guilt honing his own anger. As he watched, her expression shifted and locked him out. Without a word, Gillian dropped the hand from his arm and left the room. She didn't look back.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten about this once. Just got a little sidetracked. You know how it is. ;-) **_

* * *

><p>The ride down the mountain was quiet. And not in a comfortable way either.<p>

Gillian had barely spoken to him since he'd gotten himself knocked senseless and when she did, it was only to answer questions (generally with one word if she could manage it).

Cal understood her anger but _this was who he was_. His nature propelled him into a lot of situations half cocked… or was that just an excuse? Nonetheless, for better or worse, he'd done it for years, but if he was going to be honest with himself (and he was trying hard to be), this time had been a mistake. Sure, he's gone up there to flush the wanker out but he thought security had his back. How could he possibly have known that they were involved up to their bleeding eyeballs? _No._ _He should have known. That was his job_. He should have paid a little more attention to Zack. The kid was probably giving off lots of signals, but Cal, in his haste and anger had missed them. He was too busy trying to be the bad ass. _Shit._ Gillian was right.

He risked a quick side-glance at her, but she was studying files she'd brought along to prepare for a few cases that awaited them in DC. Before that, she'd been doing a little work on her laptop. She was completely avoiding him and despite the fact his ring was still on her finger, it was beginning to scare him.

The road was steep so he couldn't scrutinize her as much as he would have liked. He purposely kept the rental in a lower gear to minimize reliance on the brakes but as it was, they were going a little faster down the two-lane highway than what his preference would be. In the distance he could see another car ahead of them, dwarfed to the size of a model by the surrounding terrain. Not that the eastern mountain ranges came close to those in the west but it still tended to put things in perspective, show just how insignificant people were. Melancholy wrapped itself around him tightly as a sigh escaped.

"I'm sorry Gillian." There was no power behind it. He wondered if she even heard him.

His muttered apology reached her ears and it stung to hear the anguish behind it. As angry as she was, it still hit a chord with her. She didn't want him to hurt. Slowly closing the file she was perusing, she looked up at him but remained impassive. She could see his shame, see his sincerity but didn't know if she was ready to forgive him. The 'what if' game had been pursuing her steadily all last night. Most of the 'what ifs' ending with his death or his serious injury and she'd found herself choked with tears, barely able to breath. She loved him but how could she keep doing this? He seemed to have so little regard for himself and by extension, her. Did it even occur to him how much his actions hurt her? He was sorry. She knew that. But how long before his next lapse of judgment? Would that be the time when he didn't come home to her?

"I know you are Cal."

_Okay. Five words. That was progress right?_

Downshifting into first, he could hear and feel the engine pull back just a little.

"But you don't forgive me."

She didn't answer, not really sure what to say. Fiddling with her ring, she stopped suddenly, knowing how he might interpret it. He was concentrating on his driving so she hoped he hadn't noticed.

"I'll take that as a 'no' then." His jaw tightened ever so slightly.

"It's not that easy."

"Isn't it?" Cal thought about it. Put himself in her position. Or at least tried. "Maybe not." He amended softly.

Tears stung her eyes as she looked out the window.

The silence stretched before them once again, then: "What do you want me to say Gillian?"

There was a slight desperate quality to his voice that she wasn't used to. What _did_ she want him to say? He was sorry and that he'd never do it again? Maybe, but this was Cal, the man she loved almost painfully, not some discordant child (not that he didn't resemble one sometimes). Did she want to put him in a position where he felt compelled to lie to her? Or to break any promises he might make?

A frown creased her features a moment later. "What's going on Cal? What are you doing?" Concerned, her gaze shifted back to him. Coldness speared her heart when she read his expression. Fear. Panic. Controlled, but apparent.

They were going much too fast.

"I think…I think we might have a problem luv." His voice was a strained whisper.

The brakes were dead. Despite the low gear, the car was steadily gaining momentum. Cal pulled up the emergency brake and felt the vehicle shudder, maybe slow just a little but not enough.

Eyes wide, he scanned for a runaway truck ramp or any other place that he might be able to guide the car and somehow bring it to a stop without getting them injured or killed. At first he saw nothing. Then, there, a narrow dirt lane let off into the woods ahead to the right.

But they didn't make it. The car was suddenly spinning, having lost complete traction as the tires passed over black ice. Cal tried to steer into the spin to gain control but there was no control to be had. He dimly heard Gillian give out a cry of alarm.

With a lurch, the car left the road, briefly hindered by the guardrail. The sudden shift in speed caused everything in the backseat to fly forward. In what seemed like slow motion, the laptop that Gillian had placed in the back flew between them, clipped her and bounced off the windshield, leaving a spider web pattern in its wake before falling and bashing against his kneecap. He felt a bolt of pain but she had immediately gone limp.

"GILL!"

The car continued its course and then they were airborne for just a moment before hitting water like concrete.

Cal's head smacked against the steering wheel, watching curiously as black dots peppered his vision.

Then everything came back into focus with a rush, panic and terror sharpening their situation unnaturally crystal clear.

The car was now tilting forward in a sickening manner. They were sinking. And fast.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Sorry for the short chapter. Just kind of worked out that way. ;-)**_

* * *

><p>She watched him silently, dispassionately. She watched his tears and anguish and couldn't understand why he was so upset. The pull began. It localized in the center of her chest, a tingling, then an indescribable force.<p>

The first breath was agony. It burned her throat and lungs but oddly enough, she was freezing. How could that be? She felt and heard movement around her but the world remained dark. There was no strength to open her eyes. She couldn't even move. Something was strapped to her face and she heard the low hiss of what she thought was oxygen. More movement and then nothingness once again.

_**(BREAK)**_

Cal wavered in and out for what seemed like forever. Somehow he'd lost his clothes and dimly felt vulnerable as a result. Forced warm air enveloped his entire body before being replaced by heavy blankets.

Finally the chill was gone.

He opened his eyes, blinked forcefully to clear them before noting the pulled curtains, medical equipment, the IV currently connected to him and the damned uncomfortable bed. His own little corner of the emergency room.

_Gillian!_

His limbs were a bit heavy but he managed to throw off the blankets and drop his legs over the side. Then he remembered that he didn't have any clothes, having been replaced with a typical ugly hospital gown. Dismissed it as soon as it entered his head. Didn't matter. Didn't currently care if he mooned the entire planet.

"Oi! Nurse! Doctor! Anyone!" His voice didn't have as much power as it should. _Damnit_.

Pushing himself off the bed, his legs started to buckle almost immediately when his feet hit the tile. They didn't currently want to take his weight. His knuckles whitened as they clutched onto the side of the bed in his attempt to stay upright.

"What are you _doing_?"

A nurse appeared through the curtain. She was tall, had several inches on him and was built solidly. Her gray hair and eyes were in perfect synch as she stared at him through half moon glasses. Her mouth had formed a single line in annoyance.

"What does it look like I'm doin'?" Cal snapped. "Where the hell is Gillian?"

Despite the gruffness, panic was evident. He was too tired to hide it and he noted the nurse soften slightly as a result.

"Dr. Foster has been taken upstairs. She is being cared for. You need to rest-" She had moved toward him, one hand firm on his arm, the other smoothing back the covers of the bed.

"Do not treat me like a bloody invalid. I took a cold swim, I wasn't dropped on my head." Cal drew himself up and into her face even though he could still feel his legs shaking. His eyes darted between the two of hers as she glowered at him. "I want to see her _now_."

They stared at one another for a long moment before the nurse gave out a sigh. "If you get back into bed, I'll talk to the doctor about a wheelchair."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"That's the way it's got to be. If you even try to walk up there, you _will_ fall on your face. Your temp was down to 90.9 and your body needs a chance to recuperate."

Cal blinked. 90.9? No wonder he felt so crappy.

Gritting his teeth, he nodded. Didn't seem he'd be able to get around _Nurse Ratched_ anytime soon. He felt too damned shaky. Reluctantly he sat back down and allowed her to assist him. "Can you just tell me one thing?"

"If I can."

"Is she okay?" His voice rose slightly and he inwardly cursed himself for allowing that little bit of weakness through. _Why had they taken her upstairs while he was still the ER? There had to be something wrong. His heart twisted painfully at the thought. He suddenly felt like he couldn't breath. This was his fault. All of it._

"Let me get the doctor." Compassion laced through those few words.

It made him want to start breaking things.


	8. Chapter 8

_Anoxic brain injury._

Of course they didn't know for sure. They wouldn't know the extent of the damage until she regained consciousness. _If_ she regained consciousness (the doctor hadn't come out and said that but of course it was all over his face). It _was_ possible that Cal had revived her in time (he _had_ heard a gasp before they pulled him away. It hadn't been his damned imagination), but it was a still a waiting game.

A hospital volunteer had pushed him into the room in ICU and at first glance, he felt himself want to inwardly and outwardly retreat from what he was seeing. So much equipment. A ventilator to keep her oxygen levels steady, IV, heart monitor and a couple of other things that Cal didn't recognize.

"Could you give me a minute?" He didn't recognize his own voice. It was dry, raspy and _old _sounding.

The volunteer was a retiree with dyed red hair and red lipstick. The combination was a bit off putting in a clownish kind of way but she had a ready genuine smile. "Of course honey. I'll just wait outside."

Feeling his weakened muscles quiver a little in protest, he pushed the wheelchair closer to the bed and set the brakes so he could take Gillian's hand. He was relieved to find it warm and then quickly berated himself. _Of course it was warm. She wasn't…Cal's mind quickly cut off the last word even as it lurked ominously in the background. _

"Hey there darlin'." He brought her hand to his lips while he kept his eyes on her face. "You know that this silent treatment is gettin' old, yeah? I mean, seriously, how long can you hold a grudge?"

His only answer was the steady whooshing of oxygen and the beeping of monitors. He pressed on regardless. "I know I'm an idiot, but I can't seem to help myself. Think it started right around puberty. Pretty firmly entrenched habit it is. But I'll tell you what. If you open those beautiful eyes of yours, I'll formally renounce my idiotic ways. What d'ya say luv?"

A nurse whispered in on thick soles to check Gillian's vitals. "Are you her husband?" Her tone was conversational as she did her job.

"Fiancé."

"Well, I'm Patty. I'll be looking after Dr. Foster for the next 10 hours."

Cal nodded, feeling numb.

"Everything looks good. I'll be in again shortly." With that, she slipped from the room.

_Looks good? The woman he loved more than life was lying there motionless and everything looked good? In what fucking dimension?_

"You hear that Gill? Things look good, accordin' to Patty. So, how 'bout you come 'round and open those eyes?"

"Dr. Lightman?" The volunteer tentatively stepped back into the room. "I should probably take-"

"No." His tone left little room for negotiation and the woman shifted her body weight from one foot to the other.

Softening slightly, he paused and looked over his shoulder at her. "Thank you, but I'd prefer to stay."

"I don't know if I can do that. Besides, you're not 100% yet. You have to think about yourself too."

"I'm fine. Tell them I refused to come back downstairs. They already know I'm a pain in the ass."

The woman blinked but couldn't stop a little smile from forming. Despite his abrasiveness, she liked this man. "Alright then. But if you need another ride, my name's Ruth."

He looked up at her pointedly. "Just know that I am quite aware that they'll try to make me leave pretty soon but I can't promise that it won't be without a fight."

"I can see that." She passed a keen but compassionate eye over him, seeing an anguished man, vulnerable in hospital gown and bathrobe but fiercely determined to stay near the woman he loved. She could almost _feel_ the heavy emotion in the room, her own feelings swelling inside as a result. It had been a long time since she'd felt that kind of love. "I'm sure she'll wake up soon." Ruth dropped her voice, hoping she wasn't giving him false hope.

Cal gave a little nod before dismissing her. He brought the limp hand to his lips once again as the volunteer took her leave.

"Okay darlin'. They're probably gonna be dragging me outta here soon. But as soon as the shakes are gone, I'll be back. Maybe sooner if I can sweet talk Ruth again or one of the other volunteers."

He watched her for several minutes in silence. Her face was pale and slack but her chest rose and fell in constant rhythm, and her heart rate held steady. He studied her eyes, hoping to see movement behind the lids but worried that even if he did, it might not mean anything.

Images from his nightmare began to invade his consciousness and he almost doubled over from the intensity. His eyes stung as tears threatened and he inadvertently clutched her hand tighter than he intended. Loosened his grip almost immediately. "Gillian, you know I don't believe in omens, yeah? You're gonna completely muck up my view of superstitions if you don't wake up soon. What kind of scientist would I be if that happened?" His voice was thick, the teasing smile dropping as soon as it formed. He stretched his arm out to lightly run his fingers down her cheek, careful to avoid tubes and wires. "Come on luv. Please."

"Dr. Lightman?"

Cal ignored the voice, already knowing the inevitable.

"I have to take you downstairs sir."

"Sod off." He didn't turn, kissed Gill's still fingers instead.

There was a deep sigh behind him before he heard heavy steps approach. Big hands released the brakes of the wheelchair before slowly pulling him away from Gillian. "I'm sorry sir."

"Not in the same league of sorry as I am." Cal whispered, more to himself than anyone else.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Was the last chapter that bad? I could have sworn that I heard crickets chirping or maybe it's just that this story isn't working for most of you. If that's the case, please let it be known that I always welcome and love suggestions! (BTW, thank you to the few of you who have taken a moment to comment!)**_

* * *

><p>His voice murmured through the fog. She couldn't quite make out the words but his voice sounded so beautiful to her. But it also sounded so sad. She wanted to soothe him, wanted to let him know that everything would be alright but her body refused to obey and she was just so very tired as the darkness beckoned.<p>

_**(BREAK)**_

It was so hard. Such a struggle. She desperately needed to reach the surface but she couldn't. Every time she tried to reach out an arm or push up with her legs, they became too heavy. _She_ became too leaden and wound up sinking back down into the darkness. But she _could still_ hear. The words were difficult to absorb but she didn't need to understand them. The tone and inflection told her everything. It made her heart heavy as she realized that voice with its beautiful lilt could sound so anguished. She wasn't used to it sounding like that. Normally it would be caustic or teasing or defensive or loving but with the anguish came a certain hollowness that was even more alien. She wanted to cry but didn't have the strength and wondered dimly if she ever would. The idea of being trapped in this dark fog made her want to scream and kick but of course she couldn't do that either. So she listened. There was nothing else to do but listen and feel her heart wither and die.

_**(BREAK)**_

Cal sat and stared. The chair was damned uncomfortable but he took no notice.

He had technically been discharged several hours ago but he had nowhere else to go, nowhere else to be. He wasn't even supposed to be where he was, but the hospital staff was turning a blind eye to him for which he was grateful.

Ruth, the lovely volunteer, had shown up with some clean, dry clothes for him since his own had been destroyed when the ER attendants had hurriedly cut them off him in their desperate attempt to raise his body temperature. "They're my husband's. Might be a tiny bit big but they're better than the alternative."

Cal had quietly thanked her but his eyes hadn't moved in her direction. He felt her gently pat his shoulder before leaving him.

His phone had been wrecked of course. He had had to borrow one of the desk phones to call Emily. Naturally she'd been freaked out but he tapped into his inner actor and managed to convince her that he was okay and should be back soon. He had lied to her. He'd figured that an extra layer of guilt couldn't possibly make him feel any worse than he already did. But he was wrong.

"Called Em." Cal gently caressed the still hand. "Didn't tell her everything. I just…couldn't bring myself to do that. I need to have good news when I talk to her next though. You know what I mean? We need to put this whole nightmare behind us, yeah?" He shifted and gave a little stretch, attempting to placate cramping muscles but they weren't having it. "We have a date in May that we need to keep. I believe an outside wedding may be penciled in luv. No, actually it was inked in. Really dark ink…in calligraphy. Big brush strokes. You can't just erase that y'know."

"We, um, also need to get back pretty soon. Can't leave the business to the kids too much longer. There'll be nothing left. Probably already mass pandemonium. Loker'll pull rank and Torres will bring up the natural bit. There very well could be blood." He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut for just a moment. "Gillian…I really need you to wake up darlin'. Please. I love you more than you could even know. I can't imagine you not being there. Seriously now, who else is gonna put up with me? Who else is gonna call me on my shit?"

Suddenly he felt like he was falling but his body remained still. Blinking forcefully, he pushed back the odd vertigo-like sensation, knowing that it was most likely exhaustion. Of course it could be that he hadn't eaten either in how long? He didn't remember. He dismissed the thought and turned his attention back to Gillian. "You know that I'm really sorry for all that hotel business right? I shouldn't have done what I did. If it makes you feel any better, I did have a lump on my head the size of Nebraska there for a bit. You could put my name in for moron of the month if you'd like. I'm sure most of our staff would back you up." Cal knew that he was babbling but couldn't help himself.

He scooted the chair parallel to the bed so he could rest his arm and head on the mattress and still manage to hold her hand. His eyes glued themselves to her face looking for…anything. There was no change. Watch pot never boils? Is that the saying? Another wave of fatigue crashed down around him and he felt his eyes sag a little. The mattress was surprisingly soft. Or was that his imagination? Since when are hospital beds comfy? Never have been in his experience. His lids were heavy over eyes that burned and stung. Damned a/c. Drying his bloody eyeballs out. A moment later the lids slid shut and he fell into an uneasy doze.

_**(BREAK)**_

Gillian almost made it to the surface. It was so quick that it startled her. A soft brush of her right hand and the steady drone of a much-loved voice kept her focus. Maybe. Please. She silently begged to a higher power in which she wasn't certain she believed.

Then the voice was quiet. She felt panic rise within but calmed at another touch of her hand, soon followed by weight upon it. The weight didn't move again. She found it comforting, familiar.

With tremendous effort, she managed to part her eyes open.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Thanks all! This writer tends to be a bit insecure sometimes, so you'll have to forgive me. Good to know that I'm still on my game though!**_

* * *

><p>Gillian opened her eyes to a world out of focus. Closed them and tried again. This time it was a little better.<p>

A familiar sandy haired figure was currently slumped against the side of her bed. He had her hand grasped in his, his cheek resting against them both. He was breathing softly in his sleep but his face was pinched with anxiety. With some effort, she managed to gently brush her thumbnail against his face and watched as he stirred, confusion etched into his features. He blinked at her stupidly for a moment and it would have been cute if he hadn't looked so ghastly. The dark hollows under his eyes contrasted with the paleness of his skin, lines in his face were more heavily apparent in worry and fear and his hair stood up in all different directions. But when he caught her eyes, the relief and love that washed over her was overwhelming. Gillian began to cry but the ventilator prevented her from making a sound. She was starting to find edges in the hazy fog around her and the realization of where she was terrified her.

Cal immediately saw her panic and was up on his feet, albeit, a little shakily. He leaned over her, pressing his lips to her temple while he pushed the call button. "Hey luv." His voice was raw as his eyes filled.

The nurse quickly appeared in the room. "Well Dr. Foster, welcome back." A genuine smile crossed the young woman's face. "Let me get the doctor and we'll see about taking that tube out. I know it's not very comfortable."

Tears coursed down her face as Cal kissed her cheek, his own tears mixing with hers.

_**(BREAK)**_

"Hey."

A gentle but firm hand was shaking his shoulder.

"What?" Cal asked before opening his eyes and looking up.

Ruth stood next to the chair, glaring down at him. Her eyebrows rose when he finally looked at her. "You haven't eaten have you?"

"Ummm…no…don't think so…not hungry." Gillian was now sleeping peacefully. Naturally. But he still wanted to stay near. Just in case.

"Okay. Let me put it this way. You go down and get some food or I'll talk to the head nurse about getting you banned from this room. You're not going to be any good to your lovely lady if you wind up back in here yourself."

"Do me a favor. You're a volunteer." It came out a little snottier than he'd intended but at the moment he didn't care.

Narrowing her eyes she fixed him with a hawk like look. "I've been at this hospital a _very_ long time and most of these nurses are good friends. Are you getting what I'm saying?"

They stared at one another for several long moments before Cal gave a sigh. "Fine." Climbing to his feet, he leaned over to kiss Gill. "I'll be back shortly darlin'." As he turned toward the old woman, darkness threatened behind his eyes and he felt himself sway slightly.

Watching what little color he had run from the man's face, Ruth stepped forward and grabbed his arm, more than a little worried. He'd been camped in here for the past few days without moving and it was bound to take its toll. "Alright Dr. Lightman?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to steady himself before opening them and looking at her with the ghost of a smile. "Think you might be right. Need to eat somethin'."

With a nod, she said nothing. She figured that it was probably pretty rare for this man to admit when he's wrong.

_**(BREAK)**_

Gillian immediately noticed that he wasn't there and felt it almost like a loss. She knew he'd be back, at least she thought so but there was some underlying tension that she had yet to address. She'd been angry with him. She knew that. But honestly couldn't quite remember why. She couldn't even remember the accident. Of course its not like they'd had a chance to talk. She'd felt almost like a narcoleptic, she'd been so tired, but every time she'd opened her eyes, he was there giving her a reassuring smile, the squeeze of a hand or a kiss to her temple or cheek.

Michelle, the current shift nurse came bustling in. "How are you feeling Dr. Foster?" She was busy checking vitals.

Her throat was on fire but she managed to croak out "tired."

The woman nodded. "Understandable."

"Where's Cal?" She winced once again at the burning.

Michelle looked at her, her expression soft. "Ruthie finally got him to go down to the cafeteria and eat. He sure is a stubborn one. Wouldn't leave you at all."

"Ruthie?"

"One of our volunteers. Kind of a fixture around here."

"Oh." She felt a little befuddled. Annoyingly so. "How long have I been here?"

Picking up the chart at the foot of the bed, the nurse took a quick perusal. "You got here Sunday afternoon and it's now Wednesday."

_Three days. Cal hadn't left her side in three days. _That knowledge made her want to start crying all over again.

"When can I go home?" She cleared her throat, feeling a bit like she'd gargled with razor blades.

"Well, you'd have to talk with Dr. Moyer about that. He'll be by later this afternoon." Michelle gave her a smile. "I can't imagine it should be too much longer though. Things are looking pretty good."

"Do you think you could do me a favor?"

"Sure. If I can."

"What happened?"

The nurse looked at her steadily, gray eyes weighing the wisdom of too much information. "All I know is that you were in a car accident. It went off the road into a lake or something."

_Cold. So cold._

Gillian nodded mutely, wanting to know more but suspected the nurse either wouldn't say or wasn't completely sure.

The sound of footsteps brought her attention to the door as Cal started to wander in. He stopped and hung back while the nurse finished her duties.

She watched him, taking in the scruffy, tired looking face, the odd clothing (flannel shirt and corduroys?), the hair in disarray that he may have finger combed ever so slightly and the tentative smile. She was relieved to see that he didn't seem quite as pale as he was before.

"Okay now Dr. Foster, it looks like they're going to allow some real food for you. Don't get too excited though since broth and jello are currently on the menu. Someone will be in with that shortly." The nurse gave Gillian a gentle pat on her arm. "If you need anything else, just let me know."

"Thank you."

With that, Michelle left them.

Cal approached the bed, and leaned down to kiss her cheek. She moved toward him at the last moment so he caught her on the lips instead. Reaching up one hand, Gillian caressed the side of his face while she pressed back against him sweetly for just a moment before he pulled away. "Hey there."

"Hey yourself." He grinned before taking his seat. His hand automatically reached for hers. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Achy. Head's kind of in a fog."

"Guess that's to be expected."

She caught his eye and held it. "It almost went very badly didn't it?"

Blinking, he shifted slightly in his seat. "What d'ya mean?" _Accident or the fact that he'd almost ruined their relationship?_

"I saw you cry."

He shrugged with a smirk. "I was happy to see you awake. Just don't tell anyone."

"No, no. I mean, by the water. On the shore."

Frowning in confusion, Cal stared at her. _Huh? _


	11. Chapter 11

Cal stared at her, uncomprehending.

_Why would he understand? It made absolutely no sense but at the same time, the_ _memory was so vivid_. Or maybe she'd been hallucinating. Watching the expression on his face made her wonder.

"You…saw…me?" His words were stilted.

"It was just for a few moments." Gillian shook her head, trying to explain but wishing she hadn't said anything to begin with. "I was watching you from outside _me_."

He'd lost her that day hadn't he? She hadn't been breathing when he pulled her out of the water. She'd been blue. No pulse.

"You were performing CPR. Telling me to fight." She squeezed his hand. "You told me that we'd come so far and I was not to leave you." Her voice was tender.

Cal felt like he was being pulled into a vortex. The unexplainable had a hard time gelling within his science-centered brain. He couldn't form any words, so he said nothing. _He had said those things hadn't he? Maybe. Possibly. _Who was he kidding? He knew he did. The memory was branded within him, along with the panic and terror. He'd performed CPR for what seemed like forever and she hadn't been responding. The grief and anguish that had welled within him couldn't be compared to anything he'd ever felt before. Even those surrounding his mother's death. He'd wanted to scream up at the fates and take them on single-handedly. Instead the frigid temperatures had burrowed within him insidiously and weakened him so the fight was only within his head.

"Cal? You okay?"

He hadn't realized he'd been quiet so long, having fixated on their interlaced fingers. Glancing up, he met her concerned eyes. _Isn't that funny? She's the one that almost drowned and she's worried about _him._ But that was Gillian wasn't it? Just one of the many reasons why he was so very much in love with her. _

_ "_Yeah luv." His thoughts trailed back to his nightmare. He didn't believe in omens. Right? How about coincidences? Did he believe in _them_?

"Do you believe me?"

_How could he not?_ He nodded, watching as her eyes moistened. Without thinking twice, he was up and on her bed, carefully pulling her into his arms, her face nestled against his chest. "I was so afraid I'd lost you." His voice was emotionally raw as he kissed the crown of her head. "I'm so sorry for _everything_."

She clung to him, fingers curling in his shirt, feeling safe and warm. The nebulous anger she had felt dissipated. Whatever the reasons were, they no longer mattered.

The clearing of a throat had Gillian almost pushing Cal off the bed but she wasn't quite strong enough.

A tall balding doctor stood in the doorway, his expression amused.

Reluctantly, Cal slid off the bed on his own accord.

"I'm Dr. Moyer." He crossed the room, holding a hand out to Gillian, then Cal. "I'm glad to see that you're, um, feeling better."

Gillian offered a small smile as she took his hand while Cal looked at him impassively.

The doctor rifled through her chart for a moment before replacing it and moving forward to check vitals and reflexes. "Everything is looking good. How's your memory?"

"I don't really remember the accident and proceeding events are a little hazy, although I do remember staying at the hotel." She looked at Cal pointedly and he raised his brows. He wondered _what parts_ she remembered. He didn't read any anger off of her.

The doctor nodded. "Not unusual in the aftermath of a major trauma. It probably will come back a little at a time and she may want to consult a psychologist to help you cope." His voice was gentle. "In the meantime, we need to get you up and walking before we can see about a discharge. Your muscles are going to be a bit weak initially but I'm confident that you'll be up and about in no time."

"When can I go home?"

"If everything goes well, I'm hoping by the end of the week. Right now I'm going to have Michelle come in and see about getting you on your feet." He shook Gillian's hand and then Cal's. "If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask." With that, he swept out of the room.

They were quiet for a long moment while Cal inspected his right knee. Gillian watched him carefully.

"I know I was angry with you."

He looked up quickly and met her eyes. "Yeah."

"In all honesty, I don't remember why but I could guess."

His eyes dropped back down. "You had every right to be pissed off Gill."

"You did something stupid didn't you?" Oddly enough, her tone wasn't accusatory.

"Naturally." His head hung, still feeling the bite of shame.

"I forgive you." She said it so lovingly that he almost starting crying again. _Bloody hell._

He glossed over the sudden swell of emotion with a smirk. "Course darlin' You know you're crazy about me after all."

"Uh huh. Come over here so I can smack you aside the head." The words came out around a smile and he grinned back.

"Thought you didn't condone violence."

"I'll make an exception."

Crawling up on the bed next to her, he scooted down until they were face to face. "Go ahead. Gimme your best shot."

Her hand reached up, touched his unshaven cheek before moving to the side of his head, lacing her fingers in his hair. She looked deeply into his eyes, seeing his fear through his forced bravado. Fear for her. Fear of losing her. Without saying a word, she pressed her lips against his to reassure him, as well as herself. Opening her mouth slightly, she felt him push gently against her, deepening the kiss. It felt so good, so warm.

The clearing of a throat startled them both but this time Gill didn't even attempt to push Cal away.

"No bloody privacy 'round here." She heard him grumble while she rolled her eyes, smiling with embarrassment.

"Sorry to interrupt." The nurse grinned, amused. They looked too darned cute. "But it's time for you to get on your feet miss."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Here you go Amri91! **__** :-) Thanks everyone for your comments!  
><strong>_

_** Sorry for the short chapter but I just wanted to get it out there.**_

* * *

><p>Her muscles didn't quite seem like they wanted to cooperate.<p>

Cal held her right arm and Michelle her left as she tried to place her weight evenly on shaking legs.

"Good Dr. Foster." The nurse smiled, pleased.

Gillian wondered why she was so excited, knowing that if either one let go, she would fall. But the nurse's reaction was genuine, so she figured that maybe it _was_ a good first try. It wasn't like she had anything to compare it to.

Her legs seemed to solidify a little and she attempted to take a step.

"Careful luv." She could hear the concern in his voice, and if she wasn't mistaken, a touch of pride.

Sweat suddenly broke out on her forehead as she swayed drunkenly.

"Okay, I think that might be enough for now." Michelle guided her back to the bed and Cal followed suit. "Really good though. We'll try again in a bit."

Cal hovered, as the nurse got Gillian situated. It worried him that she looked a little pale. "Is that normal?"

The nurse shot him a quick smile. "Yeah, it is. She hasn't used her muscles for a few days, so they're going to be a little weak but it won't take long for her to get her strength back."

He nodded before moving closer to Gillian, reaching out absently and taking her hand.

"Okay, I'll be in a little later so we can try again. If you need anything you know the routine." Michelle smiled at both of them before ducking out.

The moment Cal opened his mouth; an orderly came in with a food tray. He shut it again.

"Sorry, nothing fancy." The young man pulled the swing out table in front of Gillian and put the tray down. He gave a big smile, showing off his dimples. "Doug" was printed on his nametag. "Enjoy."

He went to leave and Cal followed him into the hall. He could feel Gillian's puzzled eyes on him. "Hey Doug, think you could do us a favor?"

"Sure, if I can."

"Could you check about getting the lady some chocolate pudding?" Cal kept his voice low.

"Um, I don't know-" He stopped, looked back at the pretty woman in bed before looking back at the older man with a small grin. "I'll check and see if it's okay. Can't promise anything though."

"Appreciate it. It would give her a lift."

"No problem." The young man gave a little nod before heading back to his metal pushcart and continuing down the hall.

"What was that about?" Gillian raised a brow as he walked toward her.

"Nothing. Why?" He took his place back in his uncomfortable chair and nodded to the tray "You gonna eat that?"

Clear broth, lime gelatin (do hospitals _ever_ have any _other_ flavor?) and tea met her vaguely disinterested gaze. "I guess."

Cal was on his feet again. "Tell you what. You eat up like a good girl and maybe there'll be a surprise in it for you." He hoped he wasn't inadvertently lying to her as he gave a grin.

Suspicion laced her expression.

"What? You don't trust me?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"Ouch."

It was her turn to give a grin. Cal watched it light her features, and warm her eyes as she teased, despite the obvious fatigue. _So damned close._ He'd come so close to losing that warmth, losing _her_. The realization made him feel weak, exposed. He reached out and trailed his fingers down the cheek that had been ice cold just days ago. Reaching one slightly trembling hand up, she laid her hand over his to still it. "What are you thinking?"

Not immediately answering, he continued to stare at her. Her freckles were very obvious without her make up, giving her the appearance of someone much younger and quite vulnerable. Someone that needed protecting. Of course that wasn't the case. She was one of the strongest people he knew. _But even strong people can die_. He made a little inadvertent noise in the back of his throat and hoped she didn't notice.

She'd turned her face to kiss his hand, concerned, but patient. His expression showed all of his pent up emotions. All his fear, regrets, worry, love and so much more. It was entirely on display just for her.

"I'm just a little…overwhelmed."

"Tell me about it." Gillian bit back a sob but pulled him toward her to gently touch his face, the stubble prickly under her fingertips. "It's been one hell of a week."

Cal leaned closer and kissed her, the action almost desperate. He felt her clutch at him, tears wet against his face. Pulling back, he gazed into her eyes once again. "I can't even tell you how scared I was. I was trying so hard to bring you back and it didn't…it didn't seem to be working no matter what."

"But it did work."

He shook his head. "I guess when the EMTs took over…"

"No Cal, it was _you_."

Tilting his head, he looked at her quizzically. "How could you know that?"

"I just do." Her tone and face were adamant.

_I saw you cry. _

He contemplated that for a moment. "Gill? Is this a second chance?"

"You mean after the stunt you pulled at the hotel?"

Cringing, he had the good sense to appear sheepish. "You remember that now, do you?"

"Bits of it."

"Oh. Well, I guess that, but more in the…bigger sense of things?" Pausing, his eyes dropped and then returned. "I never told you about the nightmare."

_Nightmare_? Wait. She was reading in the room and he had dozed off after…after they'd participated in some winter activities. Yeah, that's right. He'd never explained why he'd been so upset and she'd let it slide.

"Why don't you tell me now?"


	13. Chapter 13

From a psychologist's perspective, the nightmare was nothing more than illustrating Cal's subconscious fear of abandonment. Gillian knew that Cal was aware of this as well. The timing just could have been better.

She watched him, more than a little worried. He had the appearance of a haunted man, his face drawn, weathered, older. He blamed himself for everything.

Reaching out, she brushed trembling fingers through his hair, caught his eyes and held them.

"You are not responsible for any of this. How can failing brakes be your fault?"

"I guess I just question how it happened. Not exactly a normal occurrence."

"You think someone tampered with them?" Her eyes widened in horror.

"Dunno. Can't help but wonder if I pissed off the wrong person though."

_Hadn't everyone been arrested in the hotel scam? Or did someone sabotage the car beforehand? Murder was a big step up from robbery and assault. Or was it? It depended on many different factors._

"Has the car been recovered?"

He didn't honestly know and that was disconcerting. It was much too important to let it slide and yet he had. Gillian's recovery had been all consuming for him. "I haven't heard anythin' but now that you're feeling better, I think it's time to lean on the local cops a bit."

Nodding, Gillian didn't comment on the lapse. He was dealing with enough as it was.

"You know what you need to do now, yeah?" Cal shifted the conversation, not wanting to ponder the accident any longer. At least not at the moment. He knew it would come back tenfold soon enough.

"What's that?"

Cal raised his eyebrows, the wisp of a smirk on his face. "If you don't eat, you don't get your _surprise_." If Doug didn't bring any up, he'd go down personally and locate some chocolate pudding for her.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Fine."

_**(BREAK)**_

Gillian couldn't keep from shaking and it was really starting to aggravate her.

With patience rarely exhibited, Cal steadied her hand to safely deliver the broth between her lips without dumping it on her. Of course when it came to the gelatin, he almost allowed her to drop a piece down the front of her hospital gown, offering only a roguish grin in apology "No worries darlin'. I would have searched it out and removed it for you."

He received a flush and a playful slap for his trouble.

"Okay Dr. Foster." Michelle appeared back in the room, noted that some of the food had been consumed and gave a little grunt of approval. "Time to get back on your feet again."

It went a bit better this time. Sweat broke out on her forehead but her legs seemed to be a little more solid beneath her. Not that she wanted them to let her go or anything.

"Good! At this rate, you'll be running laps in no time!" The nurse was all smiles.

"Um, I might need a little more help…"

They had taken the catheter out not long before she'd attempted to walk the first time, much to Gillian's relief.

Michelle looked at her for a moment before giving a nod. "Sure, of course."

Cal stood aside while the nurse helped Gill to the bathroom. Somehow, despite the fact that her rear end was playing peek-a-boo through the hospital gown, her hair needed washing and she was still a shade too pale, she held her head up, dignity intact. He watched in awe, still finding her gorgeous and enjoying the glimpses of her backside.

Taking advantage of Gillian's toilet break, he slipped out into the hall and headed toward the elevators to look for a pay phone. Pay phone. _How quaint_. Fortunately, the hospital allowed for the 3 or 4 people in the country without a cell.

Charging the call to his landline at home, he contacted Emily at her mom's. It was late afternoon, so theoretically she should be home. He couldn't remember if she had any activities on Wednesdays or not. Wait. Was it Wednesday or Thursday? Crap. Guess he'd find out.

"Hello?"

He immediately felt warmth in his heart at her voice.

"Hey Em."

"Oh my God dad, where are you? You didn't say much when I talked to you last and then I don't hear anything for four days! Don't you think it would be nice to keep your daughter in the loop?" Her voice admonished him but he could also hear relief.

"Sorry luv. It's just been kind of rough."

Silence, then cautiously: "You sound kind of funny. Is Gillian okay?"

Letting out a breath, it seemed so cleansing to say it out loud. "Yeah, she's gonna be okay. Has to stay in hospital a little longer to build up her strength."

"Are _you_ okay?"

"Just knackered. I'll live."

"You were pretty evasive about the accident before."

"Yeah." He drew out the word. "I'll tell you everythin' once we get home, but I did want to let you know we're okay now."

"It was pretty bad, huh?" Her tone was more of a statement than a question. His little girl was amazingly intuitive. _Not really so little anymore._

"All past now. Listen, I've gotta go but I'll see you real soon. Love you."

"Love you too dad."

He hung up feeling a tiny bit better. Paused a moment and then decided to contact the local PD and see if they had any info for him.

_**(BREAK)**_

Gillian gave him a dazzling smile when he got back to her room. He was constantly amazed that she could look at _him_ that way. It took his breath away.

A little bowl of chocolate pudding sat on the tray before her.

"Ah, I see Doug got the green light." He was immediately at her side and plopped himself into his chair.

"He said you were pretty insistent."

Cal shrugged. "Just subtly suggested that a happy mental outlook helps in the healing process."

"Come here."

Tilting his head, her grinned at her. "What for?"

"Just come here already!"

"If you insist." He stood up and leaned toward her as she grabbed his shirt and yanked him closer. The taste of chocolate pudding was on her lips. Cal didn't care much for sweets, but the pudding tasted wonderful by transference. He pulled away a moment later and gave her a smirk. "I see you managed not to wear any of it."

"Not yet anyway."

"Of course the idea of licking up any spills does have merit."

"Cal!" She reached up and wiped his lips with her thumb, all the while giving him a mock look of disapproval. "Where did you go anyway?"

"Called Emily."

"Good. I bet she's relieved."

"Yeah, she is." His face twisted ever so slightly. "Also talked to the cops."

Sobering, she stared up at him. "Did you find out anything?"

"Car's in impound. They haven't had a chance to check it out just yet. Too much of a backlog. I'm gonna make some calls and see if I can have it pushed to the head of the line. If there's a connection between the hotel and the accident, I want to know _yesterday_." He perked up, his passion for his job lighting his internal fire and breaking through the horror of the last several days.

Gillian was a little more reserved. She was happy to see the light back in his eyes but she couldn't help but be a little afraid of what he'd do if the accident were indeed traced back to the hotel.


	14. Chapter 14

_**So sorry for the long delay on this one! As I just recently assured one of my awesome readers - I haven't forgotten about it, just had a minor muse misplacement. Think it's back enough to wind things up though!**_

* * *

><p>There was nothing he could fight. No one he could drag into the cube and rip to pieces. Instead he had formal apologies. Lots of those. The car manufacturer. The rental company. An accident. Failure of equipment. Yadda yadda yadda. Didn't really matter. Brake failure had almost taken Gillian away from him and he didn't have anyone specific to lash out at. What he had were offers of restitution. Like any of that mattered. Like money could bring back the dead. He had always wondered about that. How could huge lawsuits resulting in millions of dollars make up for the loss of a loved one? How could someone live with themselves knowing that the luxury surrounding them came byway of tragedy? It was a fucked up world. That was the one thing he <em>was<em> certain of.

But she hadn't died. Her hand was warm in his, even as their breath plumed out in tendrils in the arctic like air. Her eyes gazed at him lovingly.

She was finally leaving the hospital and as he helped her into the cab, he was struck again how badly things could have gone. Gillian still looked a bit frail, still a bit shaky but she was up and about, her mind sharp. She was recovering.

Ruth pushed the wheelchair aside and dipped her head down to address Gillian. "You take care of yourself Dr. Foster."

"Thanks." She smiled at the older woman, grateful to her for keeping an eye on Cal. "You too."

"You bet." The redhead straightened up, before looking Cal square in the face. One finger jabbed at his chest. "As for you." Her face softened as he gave her a toothless sideways smile. "You know I'm 71 right? Your charm has no effect on me."

Cal's smile finally showed some teeth.

"Okay, well maybe a little." The old woman pulled him into an embrace. "You take care too. No more neglecting yourself. She needs you to stay strong." She pulled back before one gnarled hand grasped the side of his face. "Gads, if I were twenty-five years younger…" She playfully pushed him away. "Off with you. Safe flight." With that, she grabbed hold of the wheelchair, propelled it through the sliding doors and was gone.

He stared after her for a moment, gave a little headshake before coming around to the other side of the cab and hopping in. Gillian's hand immediately took hold of his again.

It was time to go home.

_**(BREAK)**_

Emily waited impatiently as her eyes locked on the steady stream of people coming toward her. Somewhere in that throng were her father and Gillian. The crowd broke around her as if she were a boulder at the edge of the sea but she didn't move a muscle, made no move to get out of their way.

They'd been gone for weeks and her father's contact with her had been sporadic and guarded. She could hear the pain and anger in his voice, even after he confirmed that Gill was out of danger. Everything weighed heavily on him, always had.

Then she saw them moving slowly toward her. Gillian held onto Cal while his arm clamped around her waist in support. They both looked a little older to Emily's young eyes. She quickly shook off the frown that began to form.

"Dad!"

His sharp eyes scanned the crowd before settling on his daughter, a genuine smile cutting through the weariness of his face. "Em!"

Then she was in front of them, wrapping her arms around both in an awkward but loving group hug. Then her tears came in a rush. She made no move to hold them back. "You guys had me scared to death!"

"I know luv. I'm sorry." Cal kissed the top of her head as Gillian gently rubbed her arm, eyes warm.

"It was rough honey but we're okay." Gill's voice soothed and the girl was able to pull back the overwhelming emotion ever so slightly. She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand.

"Never, ever do anything like this again." Looking back and forth between them, her gaze was intent. Very much like her father.

Cal reached out and smoothed back her hair. "You got it darlin'. You got it. Now, lets get the hell outta here. I'd like to sleep for the next week if possible."

They only had a couple of carry-ons so they didn't need to cool their heels by luggage return and immediately headed out to the parking structure.

Cal made sure that Gillian was comfortable in the front before sliding into the back seat. He didn't notice Emily staring at him as if he'd sprouted horns as he clicked his seat belt and allowed his head to loll against the headrest.

He _always _drove. Except when she was first learning. Emily caught Gill's eye, who just flicked a tired brow upward.

The girl backed out of her parking space and proceeded to merge into the exit line to leave the airport. It would probably take a while. By the time they'd hit the freeway, Cal's soft snores could be heard.

"Are you guys _really_ okay?" Emily cast a quick glance toward Gillian. She knew that the older woman would answer her questions to the best of her ability whereas her dad would do everything to skirt the issue. "Dad wasn't really clear what happened, other than the car accident. I'm sure there's a lot he didn't tell me."

_Without a doubt_. "I'm sure he told you the gist of it."

"Just that there was an accident and you were injured."

"That's about it."

"Gillian, please don't act like dad. I don't need to be protected from _everything_."

She was right. At seventeen, she was a young adult, not a child any longer.

"I think it made it harder on your dad because we were…kind of in a middle of an argument when it happened."

_Oh_. Emily cringed. That explained some things. "It's all…okay now, right?"

"Yeah, we're okay."

"Did he do something stupid?"

Gillian couldn't help but smile.

"He did, didn't he?"

"Well, you know how your dad is."

"Only too well." They shared a private smile as Cal continued to snore from the back seat. Emily sobered. "But are _you_ okay? I mean physically? Mentally too if you feel like sharing." This woman was going to be her step mom so pumping her for a little info couldn't be a bad thing, right?

Gillian leaned her head against the headrest and rolled it slightly to look out the window. "I honestly don't remember a whole lot Em. It happened so quickly. One minute…we're arguing…then nothing until the hospital. I had actually drowned …and your dad brought me back but he didn't know it at the time." Gillian's voice had become soft as she continued to watch the scenery slip by, almost like she wasn't aware she had an audience. "I woke up and I'd never seen him look so awful. He hadn't left my side the entire time I was unconscious. I don't know if he even ate."

A lump formed in Emily's throat. She struggled to swallow it and keep her eyes clear as she drove. She'd known that her dad had loved Gillian for ages but the extent of it, the power of it left her wordless. No wonder he hadn't really shared much of what happened. There was some superstitious part of him that felt if he told her that Gillian had almost died, it would make it true. He hadn't been willing to take the risk. For all his bravado, he was sometimes still at little boy scared of the dark.

Emily gave a quick cough to hide the sob as Gillian continued to stare out the window, her eyes faraway.

_**Hope it was at least somewhat worth the wait!**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Sorry for the long gap but as I mentioned in another fic, I'm trying to tie up loose ends. Almost there with this one… **_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Six months later…<strong>_

"Dad, hold still."

Cal grunted and kept fidgeting, eyes roaming, thoughts whirling.

"If you want me to do this you need to stop that!" Emily gave him a light slap on the shoulder.

That brought his focus back to her. "_What_?"

Emily sighed, trying not to smile. "Stand still or I might accidentally strangle you."

"Don't think there'd be anything accidentally about it." Nonetheless, he tried to reign in the jitters and found his eyes falling to the photos on the dresser. Emily growing up, him with her, him with Gill, one with Gillian on her own. Most were candid and they told everything. Those were the best ones.

"There!" She gently patted his cheek to bring him back from whence he'd disappeared for a moment.

He checked himself in the mirror. The bow tie was perfect and she'd managed not to cut off his airway. "Thanks luv."

Cal was wearing a dark charcoal tux, light silver vest and matching bowtie. His hair had been recently cut and his usually scruffy face was baby smooth.

"Thank ya, thank ya very much!" The lame Elvis impersonation did nothing to quell the nervous squiggling of his stomach but he looped an arm around Em's shoulders to pull her in for a kiss to the temple. He was careful not to muss her hair or makeup knowing that it could possibly earn him a smack.

"You look gorgeous darlin'."

She beamed at him. "Nothing compared to your bride." Emily gave him quick, careful hug. "I'll see you down there in a bit. Don't be late." With that she left him on his own.

Staring after her for a moment, he then glanced down at his watch. Quarter after six. In forty-five minutes he'd be taking the leap…for the second time. _Holy shit_. He took a deep, slow breath and fought the inclination to hyperventilate. This was Gillian, not Zoe. Going forward, not going back. Cal continued to slow breath in through his nose, out through his mouth as he lowered himself to the edge of his bed.

Gillian was in the guest room down the hall. He wondered if she was as scared as he was. No, probably not. Well, maybe. Who was he kidding? She was probably just as scared as he was, if not more so. After all, she was marrying…_him_.

Another deep breath. What if she was having second thoughts? She'd been so very angry with him at the hotel and rightly so. But then there was the accident and he'd almost lost her…

"Hear my best mate is gettin' married!" A familiar voice cut into his thoughts and his eyes jerked to the doorway.

"What the hell are you doin' here?"

Terry gave a huge smile and Cal narrowed his eyes.

"Happened to be in the neighborhood and all that."

Cal rose slowly. "Last I checked, you weren't even supposed to be in the country."

"Relax. Pulled in a favor. Won't be here long. Called you at your work and they said you were off gettin' married. Couldn't believe it so I stopped in to check. Looks like they weren't havin' a go."

He couldn't help it. Cal smiled. As angry as he'd been at Terry, it wasn't something he could keep up. "Nah, it's all true."

"I'll be damned. Dr. Foster no less. What does she see in you anyway?"

Cal wasn't really sure but it was there every time she looked at him. Even when she was less than thrilled with him. "Damned if I know."

Terry laughed loud and true. "Maybe you have time to go on the piss. What do you think? Old time's sake and all."

Cal stared at him. This was such a bad idea. But then again, maybe one drink wouldn't be so bad. He could be back in time. Who knew when Terry would be able to slip past TSA again. He wasn't even sure how he'd slipped by this time. It was probably best that he didn't know.

"Come on then. I'll have you back. No worries." His oldest friend continued to grin.

* * *

><p>Emily zipped the gown and Gillian turned to smile at her. "Thank you."<p>

"No problem." She gazed at the older woman fondly. "I'm just so glad…that it worked out for you two. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this." The girl felt tears sting her eyes and she willed them back, not wanting to have to redo her makeup.

Gillian reached out and ran a hand down from the girl's shoulder to her hand and clasped it firmly. "I know. It seems so surreal. I keep expecting to wake up. It's taken so long to get to this point." She pictured Cal's face with his crooked grin and felt a wave of love. It was just so crazy. She'd wanted to kill him after the whole hotel fiasco but after all the horror they'd been through, that anger had melted away. She still remembered waking up in the hospital to not only find him by her side but to find out that he'd never left her. He'd looked awful but he'd given her the most beautiful smile and his tears had mixed with hers...

Gillian shook herself off. This wasn't a day for sadness. This was a day for them to move into the future together finally. Any misgivings were pushed to the back of her mind. Cal wasn't perfect. He never would be but he always tried to do the right thing and that was the most she could ask of him.

There was a soft knock at the door with a low voice accompanying it. "Dr. Fos—Gillian—"

"It's fine Ria. Come in."

The door pushed open and Torres popped her head through. "Hey, the chaplain sent me up to check on everyone. Make sure you're ready to go."

Gillian caught a glimpse of the clock and felt her stomach drop. Ten minutes. Ten minutes and she'd be slipping into this familiar ballet again. Except it wasn't Alec. This was Cal. No going back, only forward. She bit her lip and took a breath.

"We're ready." Emily smiled, feeling giddy. She wasn't sure she'd ever see this day and now that it was here, she couldn't stop vibrating. Maybe she'd just had too much coffee.

"Oh, by the way Em, where's your father? I didn't see him downstairs." Ria focused on the girl, eyebrows raised in expectation.

"Isn't he in his room?"

"Um, I knocked but I didn't hear anything…"


	16. Chapter 16

_Nine minutes._

Gillian sat at the end of the bed in Cal's guest room. She was completely still, hands clasped together in her lap, staring beyond the mirror positioned several feet before her. Her reflection would show anxiety behind perfect makeup and a beautiful fitted light silver dress. She didn't want to see that around her eyes so she chose not to.

He'd disappeared and she didn't know how to feel. Anger? Fear? Worry? Irritation? In her heart she didn't believe he'd do this to her. There were so many times when he'd gaze at her, thinking she wasn't paying attention. But she was. She always was. His expression would be rife with wonder, awe and adoration. It had never been the face of a man who would leave her on their wedding day. But then again, she'd been known to be wrong.

Emily and Ria had snuck away, presumably in an attempt to track Cal down but Gillian knew that if he didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

All this time to get to this point and now what? She'd died six months ago and he'd brought her back. Wasn't there a proverb that says once someone saved your life, they were forever responsible for it? Or was that from just some old episode of Kung Fu she'd seen as a child? Okay, she was now losing it. Her fiancé, was, after all missing on their wedding day. She had a right to lose it a little.

_Seven minutes._

What if something terrible had happened? What if he'd been lured out by someone on false pretenses? What if even now as she sat perfectly still upstairs in the Lightman house, terrible things were happening to him?

And what was the likelihood of that?

She admitted to herself that that scenario was pretty unlikely. At least she thought so. Wait. Who was she kidding? This was Cal. It wasn't like he didn't have enemies. She wondered if the sheer numbers would line up around the block. Of course, he could have just run out last minute for a drink or…Gillian stopped the thought progression right there.

No. I'm not going to go there.

Five minutes.

If she listened carefully, she could make out all the voices from the back garden. There hadn't been a huge guest list and she could easily isolate certain ones in instant recognition, even if the words weren't perfectly clear. Eli conversing with his date. Ben's authoritative tone speaking casually with the chaplain. Heidi with her husband and 11-year-old son. Emily's boyfriend talking to one of the musicians. More but she chose to tune out again, suddenly aware that all these people would bear witness to her humiliation.

At this point, maybe he'd better stay gone because if he came to close to her after pulling a stunt like this, she would surely beat him to death with the closest blunt object.

_Three minutes._

Her hands were starting to shake. Eyes dropping, she could see the slight tremors run through her fingertips as they began to traverse her arms and up into her body. She was determined to keep tears at bay though. No Goddamned way was she going to cry. Gillian distracted herself by contemplating blunt objects and allowed the anger to blossom.

_5:59._

"Gill?" Emily softly knocked before opening the door and peeking through. Her brown eyes were immediately huge when she read Gillian's expression. No training in the world was currently needed for it. "Um, it's all good. Found him."

"Where was he?"

The girl shrugged, happy to see instant relief and feel all the tension drain from the room. It had been so thick a moment before that she could barely breathe. Not that she blamed Gillian in the least. It _had_ looked pretty bad there for a bit. "Said he was in the garage grabbing some solitude and a beer."

One eyebrow slid upward coolly but her heart continued a panicked tempo.

"Yeah, well, I don't believe him either but he doesn't have a black eye, fat lip or anything."

Gillian let a lung full of held air out in a rush. "No torn tux?"

"Nope. Not that I can tell."

"Guess we'll give him the benefit of the doubt." Her heart finally began to slow to just above normal.

They grinned at one another as string music began to drift up toward the bedroom window.

* * *

><p>Cal watched her approach but didn't breathe. She was so lovely and he felt warmth surge through his chest and flutter outward. He'd been waiting for this moment for years, before he even knew he desired this. Desired her. And now it seemed so obvious. As real as the thumping of his heart and…he finally took a breath…the influx of oxygen into his lungs. Had he ever loved someone like he loved Gillian? No. He hadn't. Well, Emily but it was a different kind of love. Gillian was that puzzle piece that had been missing his whole adult life and now the picture was finally complete. The thought felt goofy but it didn't make it any less true.<p>

Her hand was now in his. So soft and warm. Her eyes met his and he saw intense love but also relief. He felt bad about that but still had managed to get back in time (no thanks to Terry). He hadn't meant to scare her but he planned on making it up to her. Starting now, throughout the honeymoon and over the rest of his life.

Words were spoken by the chaplain, sincere and beautiful words were exchanged, Emily squealed in excitement and the rest of the evening drifted by in a haze of well-wishers, close dances, spoons against glasses, soft kisses and tunnel vision. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her and she seemed to be having the same problem

And she never even noticed the bruises on his knuckles.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Think that might wrap this one up. Thought I'd leave it to your own imagination regarding that last part. Please don't hurt me. ;-)<strong>_


End file.
